I've never really done this before, but I thought I'd try a little snippet from what I wrote today. NOT FINAL EDIT -- probably too much description at this point. My first draft is always shit.

( SPOILERS for novel #3, Harp of Fire )

I wrote another 3000+ words today. This means I finished chapter five in a single weekend. w00t! That's what I'm talking about. The last 2000 words were actually pretty easy -- I got into that flow and it was good. I'm actually pleased with how it went there toward the end, though huge portions of this chapter will also require rewriting.

Of course, now I'm completely brain dead and must sleep. Even though I did make myself stop and eat. Still. Brain dead.

Since it's July, and I had the day off (!!!!) I decided that it was time for the Big Clean. Twice a year I move furniture out of each room, then dust, straighten, clean, vacuum, and wash the floors. (Once every month I merely dust, clean, vacuum and swiffer the floors.) It took me about five hours, which is what I figured it would take. That is total time -- which includes breaks, eating lunch, and today, making jerky.

But while I'm waiting for the living room floor to dry, I thought I'd do a look back at ( the year so far. )

So how about you? How have you done on your goals for the year? Or have you created new ones?

Didn't sleep well last night. Up at 5:30 as well. So I bring you pens! First, my really cheap Chinese pen, then a couple of the more expensive pens that I've found.

( Pens! )

I have been writing -- a little less than 1000 words a day this week. Can't binge write tomorrow, have to work (day job.) But maybe Sunday. . . Would be nice if I could finish Chapter Four this week, and start Chapter Five next week. Because the week after that I'm in CA, and while I would like to be able to write, I'm likely to be so exhausted it won't be possible.

My neighbor passed Friday morning. It was a long time coming. And while it was a good thing -- she really wasn't there any more -- it still makes me sad.

I'm spending this weekend at a cabin in Long Beach, WA, with some friends. I managed to type up 2000 words yesterday. ( And I have some thought about that. )

So here's the word count meter!

I keep meaning to post more often. I'm not sure if I will now or not.

I've finished chapters 1 & 2 of the new novel, and just wrote about 1500 words of chapter 3. However, even though I wrote almost every day last month, I was doing small amounts all the time, 500-1000 words. Generally I write a chapter a week by "binge writing" on the weekends, 4000-6000 words. I wasn't able to do that in May.

I did the math last night and realized that I'm about 2 weeks behind on my schedule to finish the first draft of this novel by the end of the year. I am really going to try to finish chapter three this weekend, so I'll remain only 2 weeks behind, instead of slipping to 3. Perhaps I can make up the time at some point, but I'm not holding my breath.

Much of the writing has been easy, as it were, the story flowing through me. My characters keep surprising me, coming up with new, interesting reactions. The story twists and turns in ways that I wasn't anticipating. So far I feel as though the broad strokes I set out for the plot/outline have been successful, and that this is a good way for me to continue. I've had a lot of opportunities to go be crazy, as it were, then when I need some direction, the outline is there. When something brilliant needs to happen my brain or my characters helpfully supply it, and even when I don't need something brilliant to happen, brilliant things keep happening anyway. It makes me very happy.

I have thoughts on pens, on safe (safer) space, on family and perception, but maybe I'll have time for those later.

I love WisCon. I draw sparkly shiny hearts all around it. I have no voice and am exhausted and frazzled and I never want it to end. *sigh*

Seriously. These are my people. Though I'm in such a better emotional space this WisCon than I was last year, I still needed the emotional support I've gotten here, a pick-me-up, as it were. I've been writing a new short story and talking up a storm and seeing old friends and making new friends and just. . .ah.

( I *love* WisCon -- blathering about my time here so far )

I hope that all of you are having a wonderful weekend, and that you all have spaces you can go to, people who you can be with, that are home.

I just had an epiphany about this trilogy. I still have chills.

( Potential spoilers for these novels )

Thursday I finished chapter one. It's 32 handwritten pages, which, if I'm keeping to form, should be about 5800 words (5.5 pages per 1000 words.) However, there are also notes, things I didn't cover fully, things that need to be added, so it will probably end up being longer.

This morning I've written the first 1000 words or so of chapter two. I'd forgotten to pack an extra notebook, and I ran out of paper. It's okay. I'm only taking a short break, then I'm going to delve back into it, possibly at the park. Just because I can.

Hope that the words are flowing for you today. . .

I've been writing. A lot, actually. I'm over halfway through chapter 1. I wasn't able to write much on the weekend, and I've fallen down to 500 words per session in terms of output. I also haven't had a tremendous amount of time when I've been writing. Tomorrow, even though my writing partner isn't going to be there, I'm still taking myself out for dinner then writing. I hope to finish chapter 1 tomorrow. I have so many ideas about this novel, so many parts I want to get to. Including the end of this chapter!

( Thoughts about plotting )

I've also been thinking a lot about pens and inks and I promise to post about it soon.

Woke myself up from a nightmare this morning. This very large, very imposing man stole my backpack and wouldn't give it back. We were at some kind of conference, the room layout was very confusing. A lot of people were around, and no one would help me. He kept trying to bargain with me, saying that he'd give me one thing in the backpack and I kept telling him that I wanted the whole backpack back.

Normally, I don't get overwrought concerning my possessions. My mom always used to say, "I possess things. Things do not possess me." However. The backpack held more than one chapter of my new novel, handwritten, no backup available. And in the dream I'd been stupid and hadn't backed up what I'd typed up of the novel on the computer either.

I *hate* dreams like this, feeling so powerless. I tried to change the dream, but then he pulled a gun, and that woke me up.

I hope your Monday is going better than mine. . .

Tuesday and Wednesday I didn't write for various reasons, including a lovely dinner with my friend M, and spending 1 1/2 hours working on neighbor C's stuff.

Tonight it was back onto that horse. I was concerned. I've been writing an application for the day job, and have only been programming for the last three days. Programming uses the same creative parts of my brain that writing does. Technical writing doesn't. I just feel sharper when I do a lot of technical writing -- maybe because every word has to be so precise. Programming, puzzle solving, is just so much more creative to me.

However, my concern was for naught. Last session, I was smart and I stopped after writing only the first two words of a paragraph. It was really easy to jump back in.

I didn't do that tonight. I wrote about 8 pages long hand. If I'm keeping true to form, that's about 1200 words. Then I hit the wall. There was nothing left inside me. Everything shut down.

I feel very good about what I did tonight, how I extended my mythology, the easy similes and metaphors. This is how it's supposed to be.

Yesterday, after I finished the outline for the novel, and this morning, I experienced a weird anxiety. While I was some what excited to start writing, I also felt nervous about it. I finally told myself that it was okay to feel anxious about jumping off a cliff, because that's what writing first draft is like for me. I jump off the highest point I can get to, then spread my arms, certain that the wings will form, the updrafts will carry me, that I can do this.

( So -- I started today )

It feels a little silly to post a word count meter when I only have 1% of the novel finished. But still. Have to start somewhere.

Ah -- novel land. I went to bed thinking about the novel last night. I woke up thinking about it. It has consumed me quickly this time, no faffing about, will I, won't I fall into complete, utter obsession. Nope, just dove right in.

I think I have the whole novel plotted out. It feels like a novel in my head. I don't know how else to explain it other than that. It just feels like a novel now.

All of the chapters need more flushing out, but the very vague outline is finished (and includes many "something brilliant happens here" points.) I don't want to do any more plotting. I'm afraid I'll over plot, which is what I think happened with the Japanese novel -- too planned, not enough left to discover. The first novel in this trilogy had no plotting at all, and it didn't matter because I wasn't trying to pick up anything. (Although I always knew what those last few scenes looked like.) The second novel had to pick up a bunch of points, and plant a bunch of seeds, and wasn't plotted enough. This novel, I feel like I have the right amount of plotting, not too much, not too little.

I'm really excited about this novel, about writing first draft again. I took myself out to another coffee shop this morning. As I was packing up I found myself thinking that I was going out to play. I can get this excited about rewriting, particularly when I'm in the middle of it. But I don't anticipate rewriting, I don't have as much joy, as I do writing first draft. Rewriting is satisfying, and I can really get into a groove with it, but it doesn't make me go skipping out of the house.

I've had way too much caffeine this morning. My hands are shaking and my stomach's a mess. HOWEVER. I've also had a lovely, lovely brainstorming session. I've figured out the high points of the first nine chapters of the next novel (Harp of Fire.) Then I have six chapters where I know a few things that happen, but not chapter-sized ideas. Then the last two chapters of the novel, which I've had plotted out for a couple of years now.

I think I need to push more, figure out what's going to happen in those middle chapters, or else I think the novel won't hang together well enough and will need a lot of retrofitting. That's what happened with novel #2. I didn't plan enough at the beginning and the plot got lost, so I had to do lots of rewriting.

But I'm very happy with what I have planned so far. By doing this very basic outlining (20 words summarizing what happens in three chapters) I'm able to keep it really active. Yes, things happen to the characters, but it's all told actively -- "Derik does X, Y, Z". This really helped in terms of Sa'el, who by his very nature is a more passive character. Summarizing made me switch things around for his chapters, made him more active.

Now that my life has settled down a little, I am planning on getting back to pen porn Fridays. I have a few ideas for posts -- flower pens, fantasy pens, erotic pens, etc.

Hope everyone is having a marvelous weekend!

You know the piriformis muscle? Yeah, that one, that's deep in your glutes that is never quite strong enough or stretched enough? I think I strained that this morning working out. Not pulled, it isn't quite that bad. But still. Ow.

Tonight I'll finish the rewrite of the second novel of this trilogy. Yay! I won't start writing novel #3 tomorrow, as it's Friday and I'm a little busy in the afternoon/evening. I am planning on taking myself out to breakfast Saturday morning, getting way over-caffeinated, and doing some brain storming. Perhaps even try a writing prompt or two, to get those writerly-first-draft muscles warmed up. Sometime next week I'll actually start writing novel #3. I have some ideas for the start of the novel. I need more ideas for the later half. I still have that last scene clearly imagined. I need to do a little more figuring out how to get there.

For those of you following along, I've been a caregiver for my neighbor who has cancer for the past couple of months. She's now in a hospice. I see her 4-5 times a week. She's gone downhill so fast. I can't say she has good days and bad -- it's more like good hours and bad. Monday I saw her at a good hour. Wednesday, not so much.

I hope that all of you have clear skies and no stress for the coming weekend!

I'd been planning on attending Norwescon -- was going to be on several panels, do the Broad Universe Rapid Fire Reading -- had even rented a hotel room. However, I've been feeling iffy all week, and this afternoon it got really bad. My throat is completely swollen and sore, I have a high fever, and no voice. So I've canceled -- I'm not going to Norwescon. It would be rude of me to go and possibly infect other people. I'm sorry I can't make it and see all the lovely people who are attending! The only good thing about this is that the hotel let me cancel with no fee. I'm sure they'll be able to fill the room.

I can't believe that I'm actually posting on Friday!

I decided to do a post of fountain pens that have dragons. However, I also found a couple of other pens that I just had to post. (stinabat -- I think you might really like the last one.)

( Lots of pens! Pretty pretty pens! )

PS. I'm still running an auction for a hand-knit pair of fingerless mittens here.

a *fabulous* pair of fingerless mittens, made by a world renown an author? Now's your chance! And it's for a good cause too!

Over at con_or_bust I have an offer for making a really interesting looking pair of fingerless mittens.



Go here to take a look yourself!

con_or_bust info snerched from their userinfo page:
If you or someone you know is a fan of color who requires financial assistance to make Wiscon 2009 attendance a reality - including, but not limited to, funds for travel or membership, or needs for lodging during the con - please visit our requests post (comments are screened) and let your needs be known.

The con_or_bust fandom auction will be run March 18-April 13, 2009 to meet the needs of FOC who have expressed interest. A public list of needs, with recipient information privatized, can be viewed here; please check it out, particularly if you have lodging space available during the con.

There's stuff going on in my life, but maybe more about that later.

I've missed the last couple of weeks of Pen Porn Friday -- first because I was in LA, then because I was sick (head cold picked up from one of my adorable grand-nieces.)

This week, I bring you cool looking ergonomic pens.

( Pens! )

This journal is 99% about writing and shiny things. I rarely get into personal details about my life or honestly, anything deep. This is a choice that I consciously made when I created this LJ. (And yes, I am aware of the privilege associated with that.)

However, I want to respond.

I've been reading and following what's come to be known as Race Fail 2009 from the beginning (though honestly, it's developed into more than just race.) I've spent hours and days on it, following links and reading arguments, counter arguments, people speaking with great fail as well as others speaking with amazing eloquence. I continue to read, listen, learn, and have been trying to educate myself as much as I can.

What some professional authors and editors have said has been shameful. I do not condone "outing" people or sharing their personal information online. I do not want sf/f to be a white-only domain.

This discussion will have wide reaching consequences for me, both professionally and personally. I have been talking about race with people, and I will continue to do so. I will continue to write CoC. I will read more books written by PoC. I will continue my membership with the Carl Brandon society.

I will undoubtedly fuck up, in word or deed. I promise that when it's pointed out to me that I will get over myself, listen, learn, and work at failing less next time.

I'm still on vacation in LA with my family, so I am screening comments for the time being. I have very limited internet access and I want to make sure any discussion stays civil.

I leave you with links.
I didn't dream of dragons -- Deepad
White people it's not all about you but this post is -- Deepad
Sees fire -- boyssmarmalade
Because there aren't enough spoons on the planet -- inallasahl

Workshops
More resources

Sorry this is late -- it's been kind of a bad week. 6 out of the last 7 days I've had a migraine. I'm hoping that I've finally figured out my triggers and that today's lack of headache is going to continue. I'm about to go to a yoga intensive workshop for the weekend -- I really need to feel well!

Anyway -- enjoy the pretties!

( Jean Pierre Lepin is quickly becoming a favorite designer of mine )

Today I kind of went off the deep end. There are many pictures of pens under the cut. Plus, one of the most expensive pens I've ever seen -- was $18,000, but now on sale for a mere $13,000! Mind you, it *is* beautiful and an amazing piece of artwork.

These are all Maki-e pens. The definition from the web site:
Maki-e was created by the Japanese around 1400 years ago. Maki-e is a unique art form of sowing gold powders on contour lines drawn with sticky Urushi lacquer to form elaborate designs. Countless combinations of techniques are used to achieve the contrast and balance of beauty.

( Not dialup friendly. But click here for the pretty! )

In honor of my recent purchase of these very pretty wooden knitting needles I decided to do a post about wooden fountain pens.

Why wood? It expands and contracts, and you have to be careful with it. However, because wood is varied, and many places where you buy wooden fountain pens make them by hand, it's the best way of purchasing what is guaranteed to be a unique fountain pen. This blog post goes into more detail about why wooden pens can be unique.

( So -- on with the pretty! )

I needed to disengage for a day, so I missed pen porn Friday. Am giving you pens today though!

These are all from Grayson Tighe. Most of his pens are one-of-a-kind. He has a lot of fantasy pens, a lot of dragons, mythological creatures and naked women. Here are three of his pens that caught my eye. I don't think I'd ever buy one -- first, I suspect they cost about as much as a car, and second, they're only kind of my style. Still, they're really pretty.

( click for teh pretty! )

Last night I finished working on chapter seven. I was very pleased with myself. In addition to editing and rewriting for content, flow, and making things not broken, I felt as though I'd gotten closer to the work and was editing for Voice, that I was finally writing in that character's voice again. I have two POV characters in this novel, and I find it much easier to write in one character's voice than the other. When I'm editing I don't always hear that Voice -- last night, it was coming through loud and clear.

This morning, when I got to Crossroads, I opened up chapter eight, all ready to go. I knew what I was going to be working on, which scene was next.

It wasn't there.

I went searching through all my computer files, through my backups -- I couldn't find it. I couldn't find the chapter that I knew I'd written. I remember those scenes, those words. I had everything hand written, of course, but I couldn't find the typed version.

I finally had a chance to go through my notebooks this afternoon. I think I know what happened. It all started with me writing chapter six too long (in the hand written version.) I have a sticky that breaks the chapter, with the start of chapter eight. Then I started chapter seven in that notebook. In a different notebook, I have the remainder of chapter seven, chapter eight, and the start of chapter nine. I think what happened is when I started typing, I typed up what I had from chapter seven from the first notebook. Then I went to the next notebook, thinking that all of chapter eight was in that notebook. I'd forgotten the other part of chapter eight, or maybe I'd thought I'd included it as part of chapter six. As the eulogy that I wrote for my father is also in this collection of notebooks, I'm not too upset with myself for not remembering everything.

So now I have an additional 3000 words or so to add someplace. I may end up splitting it between the two chapters, adding scenes to each. I'm just glad that I found those words, that I hadn't made it all up, or dreamed it or something. There's some really cool stuff in these scenes, things that are built upon in the next to the last chapter of this novel. And it sets up a huge subplot for the final novel of the trilogy.

One quick note on goals: during the week, eating veggies and walking are easier than writing. During the weekend, writing is easy, eating veggies and walking are difficult. I'm almost out of gold stars. The UFO stickers were no longer available. So I bought myself sparkly snowflake stickers for the next batch of rewards.

At one point, I remember, I used to really like rewriting. I enjoyed that wordsmithing act, finding just exactly the right word, the right phrase or metaphor or simile, and polishing the text. I lost some of that, quite frankly, it's been missing for a couple of years now.

The important thing though is that I've found it again.

( creature of habit )

Pen Porn!

I missed last week because I was in Phoenix visiting a friend. So two pens today! Three, actually, though the last one doesn't really count because it isn't a ball point. I still lust after it.

( Pretties! )

When I'm busy, I get more things done.

Wait -- let me explain. When I have all the time in the world, I find that I'm pretty lazy, and that I spend a lot of my time sitting on the couch, knitting or doing handwork. When I'm busy, that is, when I have a lot of things that I must get done, even though I really want to just sit on my couch, I don't. I do the dishes more often, clean the cat box more often, cook more, etc. A body at rest tends to stay at rest, while once I'm in motion, I tend not to take breaks. This is both a good and a bad thing.

At the start of the year I set up a reward system for myself. I made a calendar and I give myself a gold star (literally -- I have very pretty gold star stickers) when I do three things that day: walk for 20 minutes, eat veggies with one meal, and write for 30 minutes. The system has been very successful so far. Do I have a gold star every day? No, and that isn't the point. The point is coming up with a system which enables me to do as much as I can. I'll never have 30 days of gold stars. But that I can have gold stars 4-5 days a week is *awesome* I think. Plus, I draw myself little blue stars when I get two of the three things. Which means I actually have stars almost every day this year.

One of the things that occurred to me yesterday is that by setting these goals for myself every day, I feel as though I'm busy. Not in an overwhelming way, just busy enough to find that I'm getting more things done on a regular basis. This is an unexpected and really good side effect.

In other news, I've decided that I'm not cutting my hair for at least a year. I've had short hair for 20 years. (I had hair I could sit on until I was 28 -- then I cut it really short -- as short as I generally wear it.) Right now my hair is at that messy stage where it drives me crazy and I think about shaving it off all the time. I don't know what it'll look like, what I'll look like with long hair again after all this time. I suspect I won't keep it. But I'm curious what it'll be like to have long hair again. The main reason I'm doing this, though, is because even after all this time, in at least three-quarters of my dreams, I still have long hair. It isn't always a "plot point", it isn't important that I have long hair, but it's such a part of my dream landscape it makes me wonder.

Oh, and the writing part of my life? Going pretty good. I've gotten through two of the five really huge rewrite chapters (they're just broken) and am about halfway through the third. It makes me happy that even though it's hard to do these rewrites, I'm able to do them and my brain keeps coming up with appropriate solutions.

I didn't write a lot this weekend -- too busy being social. But I have been slogging away, a little bit at a time, since the start of the year. I just got to the end of chapter five. And I realized that I have four characters interacting in a certain way because I'd defined their relationships a certain way. However, at a later time I'd changed the basic definition of one of the characters, which changes the entire relationship the four of them have to have.

Basically, this last scene (and another one later on) no longer work at all. I need to figure out something else instead. It's one of those times when, as part of my process, I say, "And now something brilliant happens." I'm not sure what. I've been doing this long enough to recognize that this is something my back brain is going to have to solve. So I'm putting the book down for today, and will probably work on something else tomorrow, while my subconscious comes up with something brilliant. Because it will. And if it doesn't, well, then I start prodding it carefully.

ETA: I was really tired earlier. Got ready for bed early, was going to go to sleep early, etc. And then the Brilliant Solution came. I've taken some frantic notes and now I need to let it go, need to sleep -- I have to get up early tomorrow and work out with my trainer.

Still. Am pleased. My subconscious rocks.

Continuing our series of posts This one possibly should have been the first post, but I don't always do things in order. The lovely pen in this icon is what I call my Katana pen. It's shaped like a curved Japanese blade when it's closed. It's the first of the Waterman Serenite series. Mine is made from black lacquer and is no longer available. They do have a grey and blue one available, as well as the elements series (four Serenite pens, each representing one of the four elements -- earth, wind, fire and water. When Waterman was having a traveling show, I went to the store to see them, because I am that much of a pen geek.)

But this post is about the latest in the Serenite series.

Waterman Serenite, wood The latest in the Waterman Serenite series. Beautiful pen made from wood.

I don't know if I'd buy another in a series. I might. I really like how mine writes.

Learn more about the wooden one here.

And here is a link to the elements series.

The last time I was in San Francisco for the day job, we went to Kitchen on Fire for a team building experience. Basically, these two chefs help your group cook something delicious. We had a great time and about a dozen bottles of wine between 20 of us didn't hurt. One of the recipes involved taking romaine lettuce heads, chopping then in half lengthwise, coating the flat pars with oil and grilling them. It tasted so amazing I tried it on my own tonight. It continued to be completely amazing. I think I ate half a head of lettuce (and it was a huge head of lettuce.) I can only hope that it tastes this good tomorrow as well.

I didn't write yesterday. I had every intention of writing. However, when I got home I was just exhausted. I was in bed by 9:30, which is unheard of for me. Today though, I'm all set. I solved one of the problems I was having this afternoon while I was walking and now I'm about to just sit down and do it. Really. Not procrastinating here. Nope. Going to go write. Just watch me write. *G*

Subtitled: Pens I would own if money were no object.

As ya'll may or may not know, I write everything out by hand, first, before I type it up. I own five fountain pens that I cycle between. When I'm doing a lot of writing I tend to keep three filled. Right now, I'm not doing as much (I'm rewriting, which means more computer work) so I only have two filled.

I also have some goals for the year. I know myself, and I know my process. I work really well with bribes. So part of the pen porn Fridays are a way of teasing myself. If I actually finish writing the next novel by the end of the year, I may go ahead and purchase one of these pens. Which means I get to spend a year also looking and saving up (because they're *expensive*. But so pretty!)

Today we have the geek pen. It's by Cartier. The body and cap feature a circuit board design. I like the look of this pen, it looks sleek and clean and truly geeky. However, I would never buy a pen for looks alone -- I'd also have to hold it and write with it, see how the tip flowed over paper. Still, it's very pretty. Take a look here:

http://www.paradisepen.com/paradise/dept.asp?dept_id=21163

( ETA pictures! )